Five Minute Friday :: WILLING #linkup #FMF #wordprompt #willing

Ready?

Go!

When I think of the word willing it makes realize how much I’ve changed over the last 5 years. Because when I think back to the way I used to be, willing was not in my vocabulary. Especially when it came to God’s will.

I had a plan for my life, there were things I wanted to do and achieve and there were places I wanted to go and people I wanted to be with. I was not willing to let any of that change, even if it hurt me. This lend to a lot of resentment and heartbreak, because I was not willing, I hardened my heart and eventually went down roads I didn’t think I would – all because I wasn’t willing to let go of what I wanted and allow God to take charge.

It wasn’t even up till just last year when I finally let go.

I am now willing.

Willing to let anything happen because I trust in God.

Willing to let things be as they are instead of forcing a life that isn’t right for me.

I might not go where I want or achieve all those things I thought were best for me, but I’m okay.

I’m willing to let go of who I think I should be and the life I think I should live, because I know that God has a better plan.

He is changing and shaping me into the woman he wants me to be, and He is leading me down a path he wants me to go.

This is a prayer I now often pray:

Lord, I am willing. Use me for your glory.

I am willing to give up everything for you, just as Jesus was willing to give up everything for me.

Help me be like him.

Amen.

This next part is an add on to this post and isn’t a part of my five minutes.

Speaking of Jesus’ willingness, I couldn’t help but feel the need to say more about that as I was blown away all over again as if having heard it for the first time.

When we look at the gospel story, our God coming down as a man WILLINGLY.

Our God living as a human, among his creatures, experiencing pain and loss and all the things we feel, WILLINGLY.

WILLINGLY being betrayed.

WILLINGLY being beaten and bruised.

He loves us so much that he WILLINGLY gave up glory in heaven to die a death we deserve. He didn’t do this because he had to, even if it was the only way we could be reconciled to God, he never HAD to do this. It was all because he wanted to, because he was WILLING to lay down his life for us, so that we could call God our Father, so that we could be forgiven.

As you go into this next week try spending some time thinking about Jesus as his willingness to die for us.

I know I will be.

God Bless

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Five minute Friday :: Take #FMF #Take #linkup

Take your time.

That’s the first thing that came to mind when I saw this week’s writing prompt. And it was just what I needed. There are so many things in my life that I used to want to rush into and get done quickly or achieve quickly that it often left me heart broken or frustrated. But thankfully, the older I get the more I feel I’m learning that things take time, and that’s okay. One of my biggest dreams in life is to have a family. To get married and have kids. For most of my life I thought that meant I had to find someone while I was young and get married and that’s that. Only recently have I let myself see that it’s okay if that doesn’t happen now, it’s okay if I want to wait till I’m done studying, or till after I’ve studied further. That it’s okay for me to want to do more without taking away what I want. There’s no rush. Another thing was to do with what I’ve achieved career wise. Yes, I want to go into ministry but one of the things I’d liked to do in ministry is become a writer – publish books, commentaries. All this means having skills and credentials that will TAKE TIME.

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And that’s okay. I used to (and sometimes still do) get frustrated and annoyed with myself when I look at my life and feel like there’s still so far to go. Thankfully though, God has answered my prayer for patience and wisdom. Patience that things will take time, and wisdom to know what needs to take up my time. So if you’re running around thinking you haven’t done what you thought you should have by now, just chill. Things take time, and it’s such a blessing to be able to let that happen in God’s time rather than your own. It can be scary sometimes, but trust God, trust that his plan for you is good.

Enjoy the time that God has given you.

His Truth is stronger than my feelings.

I couldn’t sleep so I decided to write…

❁ 𝙿𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝_ @𝚜𝚓𝚗𝟺𝟹𝟸 ❁

There is a lot that I’ve been thinking about, and honestly sometimes I’m not too sure what it is that I want. I am, in fact, doubting that ministry is where I want to be and I know why that is, it’s because I keep getting sucked into a world that I think I want to be apart of, when in actual fact it’s just lies. That’s what my life seems to be bombarded with lately. Lies. Lies about who I am, lies about who God is, lies about what I want and about what he wants, lies about relationships and friendships and family, lies about standards and expectations. Honestly, I can feel quite attacked and discouraged a lot of the time. The most exhausting thing about all of this is that 90% of the lies I’m being told, well, they’re coming from my own heart and mouth. Yes, the world is definitely playing a part, and not doubt the deceiver is as well. But, I have begun to realize that these lies are what I’m telling myself. I’m the one saying that maybe ministry isn’t where I’m supposed to be, based off of other lies I’m telling myself about what I expect from myself and the life I want to live. Sometimes I feel like just giving up. Climbing into bed, putting my head under the cover, and never coming back up. However, even in all that, there is too much burning inside me to just stop functioning as a person. Yes, I might be exhausted from all the lies I’m being fed by myself and the world around me, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love my friends and family, and what I’m studying and my decision to go into full time ministry. It just means that unfortunately my heart isn’t feeling like it’s all in lately. The funniest thing is that I, once again, know fully and well why it is that I am feeling this way and why it is that I’m feeding so many lies to myself and accepting so many lies from the world around me. It’s because I’m neglecting my relationship with God. And even as I type this I can feel the emptiness in that word relationship. I thought that by typing this up, it would be a great way to force myself to think about what it is that I need to do and how to stop doing what I shouldn’t. But, I still feel quite empty and discouraged and honestly just tired and mostly like a failure and a disappointment. But this is the catch. It’s not about what I feel right? It’s sometimes actually pretty crucial for us to ignore how we feel. The heart is deceitful and hopelessly depraved. Does that sound like good feeling to follow and go by? No. Why? Because that is basing things on what I feel, rather than on what I know.

The reality is that right now, I feel alone and disconnected and honestly like I couldn’t care less about anything or anyone. But I’m broken and I’m sinful… I don’t expect to feel all happy and full and as if everything is all together all the time. That wouldn’t make me human.

One of the biggest lies I’ve been telling myself lately is that being in a relationship with God, as his Child, means that even when things are hard and difficult, that I will feel him. Right now. If that were the truth. If my relationship with God was based on how I felt. I wouldn’t be his child… we would be complete strangers. Heck, based on the way I started this post you would think we were strangers. No prayer. No Scripture. Just me opening up a bit about how I’m feeling.

What do I do? How about as I continue this I pray…

I’m aware, as I said before, that it’s not about what I feel. It’s not even about me.

Let’s reexamine the lies. They’re all based on things to do with me and my views and my feelings and my standards. But if it’s not based on my feelings and not based on me at all really. Then what?

Who he says I am. What he wants for me, his standards, his view of me and of my life. Even further than that. Who he is. What he wants.

The conclusion I’m coming to is that it’s okay that sometimes I feel like I’m in the wrong place, and that I’m not where I want to be or that I want more. It’s okay that I feel like a failure or that I’m not succeeding. Why? How is it that that is okay? Well, because that’s just how I feel. It’s not what I know and it’s definitely not the truth.

The truth is that God, my Father, tells me that I am forgiven, and that I am loved, and definitely not alone! And with him I’m always winning in life (even when it looks like and feels like I’m not) – not because of me, or where I am, or what I’m doing – but because of what he has already done. My feelings can’t change the truth, that’s thinking far too much of myself and the power I have (which is zero by the way).

These lies are just lies, and yes, unfortunately sometimes I give in and begin to throw a pity party for myself, or go down the wrong path, and cry to God telling him how much of a failure I am. But you know what he does? He holds me tighter. He keeps loving me. He moves his Spirit in me and although I can’t always feel it, he uses my mind and my knowledge to remind me that he is still there and his truth about who he is will  never change. Which means the truth about who I am will never change. He reminds me that he is holding onto me, and he’s never gonna let go.

So yes, as much as I wish I could say that even though I love what I am studying and I love my friends and family – sometimes, I just don’t feel it. But PRAISE the Lord that I am far too weak and powerless for my feelings to overpower his truth and his Spirit.

I pray that if you’re feeling the way that I am now, that you remember not who you are, but who God is. That he is the powerful, Almighty God, and that he is in control, and that his Truth is what will stand.

Desiring God on Instagram_ “The biblical truth that saving faith is possible only because God causes unbelievers to be born again (1 John 5_1) may make us feel…”

Amen.

FiveMinuteFriday :: WORLD #FMFlinkup #wordpromt #world

Ready…? Let’s go!

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When I think of the world around me – around us – I think about the book of Romans… Where Paul explains the total depravity of each and every person on this planet that has come before us and that will come after us. This stirs up such a great sense of urgency within me – it’s a feeling that I can’t quite describe unless you’ve actually experienced it yourself. It’s the need to show them a saviour. Someone who can end that depravity. It’s a feeling that seems something like despair. Looking at the world around me I feel heart-broken, yet at the same time I’m filled with such hope and joy. Let me try explain, it is actually simpler than I make it out to be (I guess that’s just my dramatic nature coming in to play!).

It’s like this – we are all sinful and broken, dead in fact. People think they are living but they aren’t, they’re just, existing, and only for a moment.

‘But where’s the hope and joy in that?’ you might ask…

Well, the fact is that we don’t have to stay dead, that there is something – someONE! Who changed that …

 

… his name is Jesus.

 

If you haven’t met him yet, I’d suggest you open up your bible and do so… He’s unlike anything you could ever imagine.

He is God.

Yet he chose to rescue a bunch of people who didn’t actually want to be rescued because they thought they could do it themselves. But have you ever seen a dead man preform CPR on himself?? I don’t think so…

 

But Jesus.. He did it, he saved us, not because we wanted it but because he loves us.

He wants us to be alive – but alive in him.

If you’re wondering what I’m talking about. Get hold of a bible, pick it up, and maybe start reading…

 

I pray it’ll change your world. Because it definitely changed mine.

 

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FMF Writing Prompt Link-up :: World

 

Five Minute Friday :: Question #FMF #writingprompt #Question #Freewriting

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Ready? Let’s GO!

I was always one of those people who would never bother to ask questions. It wasn’t that I didn’t have any – it was just simply because I had an incredible lack of curiosity and honestly couldn’t be bothered. I never questioned my beliefs, my friends, my motives, and basically I just did what I felt like doing, or what other people expected of me. Somehow this lead to an odd life. I had different options based on who I was with because I would just accept whatever it was that they were suggesting or saying. Which meant that my behavior was also vastly different depending on who I was with or where I was. And if you ask me, that isn’t the most God-glorifying way to life your life.

This was me, but about 4 years ago, I was having a conversation with someone who was asking about my faith. About what I thought about my relationship with Jesus and what was expected of me.

“Do you question your motives?” They asked.

“Well, no. I have no reason to.”

“Do you question why you believe what you do?”

“No…”

“Well then how do you know that you believe? Or that you even care about what you believe?”

“I do care…”

“If you care, then why aren’t you bothering to put up a fight with not only those around you but with yourself.”

… “Myself?”

I had never thought of it that way before.

Asking yourself, well questioning yourself, is a fight. There is a war going on between our flesh and spirit. Between us and the world. The only way we can stand that war is if we are sure of why we believe what we do… and how do we get there?

We ask questions.

We ask other people questions, we ask ourselves questions.

I then began asking myself questions. When I did something, or didn’t do something I would ask ‘why am I doing this’. Eventually that lead to me realizing that it is so important for us to be constantly questioning what we are doing and why we are doing things.. ‘Who are we living for?’. To my great surprise this actually strengthened and deepened my faith! It even changed my behavior, making it more consistent.

I chose to fight for Jesus and thus my actions and motives followed his.

So, why am I living the way that I am? Why am I choosing to do things that go against my own desires…?

Because of Jesus.

Stop.

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Five Minute Friday Link-Up ::NAME #freewriting #Word:Name #FMF

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My name is Michaela. It comes from the Hebrew name Michael which means “Who is like God”. I have always loved this. As a Christian it is a constant prayer of mine that we become more and more like Jesus. To have a name that means ‘who is like God’, to me that is really special. I think it speaks a lot to who I want to be, it’s my prayer to reflect God’s image and to bear his image in a way that glorifies him, and it also speaks to what I believe God is doing in my life. I believe that this name was given to me for a reason. It’s the name that God chose for me through my parents and that gives me great joy. I’m not saying that it makes me any more special than anyone else, but personally it means a lot. I love my name. Especially because it relates to what I think and pray a lot about – the way that God is making me more like Jesus! “Refining us like silver” is the way that it is put in Psalms and Malachi. To refine something is to burn away all the impurities leaving behind only the purest of silver. That is what God is doing to us – through the trails and hardships in our lives he is using them to make us more like himself, until he is able to look at the refined silver that is us and see his reflection perfectly…

‘For you, God, tested us; you refined us like silver. You brought us into prison and laid burdens on our backs. You let people ride over our heads; we went through fire and water, but you brought us to a place of abundance. ‘

Psalm 66:10-12 https://my.bible.com/bible/111/PSA.66.10-12

He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; he will purify the Levites and refine them like gold and silver.’

Malachi 3:3 NIV https://my.bible.com/en-GB/bible/111/MAL.3.3.NIV

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FiveMinuteFriday

Writing Prompt Link-UP ::Promise #FMF #PROMISE #Free-writing

promise

When I hear the word Promise the first thing that comes to mind are the Promises that God has made to us, but also our own inability to keep the Promises we make. Many times in my life I’ve made a promise or a promise has been made to me, and honestly, nothing ever happened.

That Promise was never fulfilled.

My high school boyfriend promised that he would always love me and be there for me. I promise my friends that I will always make time for them and that we will never grow distant. None of which have happened.

We also make promises that we have no way to guarantee that they won’t be broken. Promising to protect people or promising to provide and look after people.

 

Who are we that we are able to say such things?

What control do we have that we can guarantee these things?

NONE.

We aren’t able to. But we know that we have a God who is fully in control, and has we have seen throughout the history, particularly in the Bible – he is a God who keep his promises and that won’t change.

He has the power and control that is needed in order to keep the promises that he makes.

But, another thing is that he keeps them in his way and his time. We tend to expect certain things, looking at specific promises and thinking they will go a certain way – our way.

We need to trust that not only will he keep his promises to us, but he will keep them in a way that  is best for us and in a way that glorifies himself.

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